"My Thoughts"

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Criticism for helping others

I cannot say how many rumors still float around to this day about my motives and priorities in helping others.
Even my own brother in law has let these rumors go by. I was told not to help a teenage couple about a year in a half ago as this looks wrong and my intentions “looked bad”.
What is this, did Jesus not go to the sinners and tax collectors (not that I am Jesus or these teenagers were sinners anymore than I was)?

What I am saying is that I did not think I was any better than they were just because I was older (another adult said they were only worthy of a McDonalds job based on their age).
Unfortunately even with respect and help I gave (not that she did not return it too), the rumors, and usual stabbing in the back by my friends once again caught up with me and she was convinced of my loser status.
See this post: Does doing the right thing really pay in life? ).

I also DID put my family ahead of my own dreams and desires, why else would I have brought my family to Oregon and the poor business climate here while I had a good business and worse, dropped out of flight school leaving behind my personal dream of a career in aviation ($35,000 spent too).

Back to the, helping people issue; There are more people whom I helped that I have said nothing about (other than here).
Such as:
  • Here on the internet helping with their site and promotion
  • Their aquarium promotions (with absolutely no help in return)
  • Taking persons in to my home (or using my camper as a place to crash)
  • Helping them with loans
  • Signing for rents (for persons with bad credit)
  • Helping get “wheels”
  • Help obtaining a job and more.

I am not saying this to brag only to say I cannot believe the judgment I get for doing this (much is unknown by others though).

I will also add I still lose sleep (I suffer from a lot of nightmares and premonitions that are about 80% in accuracy) worrying about persons I tried to help and wish I could have helped more.
I still think and pray for Tammarie Pepe Enostros and her kids, my ex wife, Jerry Steele, Rachel Owen and many-many more.

One of the reasons I left So. California for Oregon, is that a certain person who does NOT mean our family well is more interested in reading my site or blogs than my so called friends.
When I track back all links to my site and blogs, they 99% trace back to me, no help or interest by anyone else.
I come up at the top of the search engines, has anyone ever thought to contact me?

Dealing with life’s difficulties; especially my shortcomings, my wife who sleeps most of the time and my special needs children would be a little easier with support instead of the CONSTANT criticism I get.
And the regular back stabbings are just the icing on the cake, it would be nice if someone would call and say I am SORRY or THANKS.

My Biography:
Carl Strohmeyer

A few of My Aquarium & Pond Business Articles:
*Aquarium Lighting
*Aquarium Nitrogen Cycle
*Pond Care, Information

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Blogger openmic said...

Please allow me to say "thank you" for your honest intentions to help. You may have not tried to help me directly, but you truly have helped me. You provide a great service to your fellow man and an inspiration to others. Please keep up the good work despite your critics.

It is rare to help a person who is enlightened enough to recognize and appreciate the help. Maybe later in life they will thank you, but don't wait for it or evaluate your efforts based upon it. Usually those who require the most help are blind, deaf and dumb to society. Get your satisfaction from trying to help, from the possible benefits those you help eventually get, and in knowing that somewhere out there somebody is noticing and appreciating your efforts.

Are your critics really friends? Evaluate their criticisms to find actually helpful hints. Dismiss the trash. Maybe critics don't understand your approach or misinterpret your attitude. We can always refine how we deal with people. Consider that critics and unappreciative beneficiaries may be defensive because they have been burned in the past or have not learned how to accept help. Consider that your best intentions may still not effectively solve the problem or misunderstands the total situation. You do not intend to make problems worse, but sometimes that’s what happens. But don’t stop trying. We’re all in trouble when good people stop trying.

I like that you’re out there and trying to make a positive difference. Everybody who risks exposure gets undeserved flack. Let it roll of your back, taking lessons learned to become more effective the next time. Peace be with you.

11:30 AM  
Blogger Carl said...

Thank you very much for your comment and kind words.


11:47 AM  

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