Where is God/Jesus in Harmful Rumors

Where is God/Jesus in Harmful Rumors; Often Perpetuated by Christians (or those claiming to be Christians)?

I also have a related post from this blog from almost two year ago:
“The Triumph of Evil” How others believe rumors and look away from wrongs where I reference my favorite secular quote:
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”


This is a question I often ask myself, sometimes when deeply depressed in makes me question God himself, although I know full well that God/Jesus is not at the root of this problem that has so deeply hurt my family many times over the years.

Although it is clear from reading the bible in context that God expects all Christians to be his ambassadors here on earth, however we often fail him and then others in failing God.
The Book of Job is a clear example where so-called friends of Job falsely accused Job and eventually were judged by God for this.
Often it is Christians that do not truly seek God’s Word or follow his clear directions about loving our Neighbor as our self, however the Bible is also clear that sometimes there are those among us who pretend to be Christians and are actually “wolves in sheep’s clothing”. In fact Matthew 7:20 makes it clear: Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

A good example is a person that constantly spread rumors about me and another good friend I worked with, I found much evidence (including others who came forward) that eh was the primary source. Even today, he hides behind a banner of claiming to be a Christian, yet has yet to come forward to “set things right”. As well comments about others (including our ex-president Bush) show his either hatred for those who are persons of conviction, or simply his ignorance. Sadly those around him fall for his charismatic personality (this guy could sell air conditioners to Eskimos).

For me and others he and those he has convinced by his false Christian rumors it has made our walk with the Lord stumble, often during difficult times, not that we should get our self esteem from others, but as I noted earlier that other Christians are the mouth piece of Good (see the parable of the Good Samaritan, Luke 10: 25-37).

Sadly this person and a good friend he convinced knew some of what I and others he trashed had been through, but that did not seem to count in the end. As well while his then fiancé may have known some of “my story” they still in reality knew little and much of what I feared in premonitions came through in an unspeakably evil way in February 2009, but to him this was simply an inconvenience.

Of coarse I am not without blame either, as I saw through him immediately, but for the sake of his fiancé supported him when (as his then boss) should have fired him as it was not only was obvious that he was a “pot stirrer”, but simply a lazy employee that often would pass the buck for his own mistakes (later he constantly attempted via different methods to trip me up with upper management and other employees). This mistake on my part in the end not only bit me in the butt personally, but also hurt my employer and another friend that worked there as well.
So the lesson for me is to trust in the Lord and always see the best in others and help them as stated in Matt. 10:25-37, but to also trust the discernment the Lord gives me and realize that it is not I that can help fix things/others, but the Lord working through me (with an emphasis on the Lord first and me second).

One might ask; Why am I still bringing this up or hanging on to this hurt?
This is a good and a fair question.

For one I have followed the precepts of Matt. 10:25-37 for much of my life (even before accepting Christ as my Savior). However I have been much maligned, sadly mostly by Christians (or those who claimed to be). This has simply been a battle for me much of my life and since the Bible is clear as to as to how he expects us to act to others if we are truly his, it still leaves me scratching my head and struggling at times with my Christian walk.
As with Job’s friends I know God can also speak to us directly (or send a messenger as with Nathan the Prophet in exposing David’s sin in his affair with Bathsheba and having her husband killed), so the fact that he and others around him have been so cruel in their behavior leaves me rather dry.
I know that God can move us in this way from my friend Bob M., who I renewed friendship that started in LA after God clearly spoke to me that he needed a friend/comfort (I did not even know his phone number, however God provided this to me and upon calling him I found out that his 49 year old wife was dying of cancer). He since has returned the favor when the Lord moved him to call me that very “dark” night in February.

My point is that I know from Bob and others (including a counselor from my church) that while I need to give this up to God, and as well last February 2009 was also proof of who my friends were with letters/testimonials coming in from Los Angeles, the internet (mostly from those I have helped in forums), and from a few others here in Grants Pass (including my other friend that was hurt by this man and his fiancé for believing his lies, sadly she was the only one outside my church and sister/brother-in-law in Grants Pass that felt this pull from God).
What is even more amazing when you consider all the “bullets” I took for this couple (this list is quite long, and many they are not even aware of that even cost me $), that during this time of the highest need of my family (Feb. 2009) for support from friends that knew the truth, a person that really only knew of me from going to the same church (she ran the daycare) felt the pull of God to find out more about me and to come forward to tell these persons in authority that they were wrong and needed to look at the facts as she did when god called her to investigate this and come along beside me and my family.
Where was this couple during this time???
Sadly she even “un-friended” me at MySpace shortly after this time (for reasons I can only guess considering how her parents “dis” me and my wife and it is obvious that she has run even further from hearing God and knowing the truth and possibly even believed this horrible evil against me and my family). So she obviously went the other direction than others, and considering their Christian claims while many that wrote testimonials were not even Christians (such as a Buddhist lady that was one of my largest clients in LA after learning of this from Gregg my old stores service manager as well as my ex-brother in law who knew my true character). In fact she met some of these persons when I re-established my business contact in a trip to LA where most went out of their way to meet with me as they respected me and my character (which makes her belief in her fiancés character assignation all the more difficult to understand considering their Christian claims)

I guess all I ask is that someone will step up to the plate and listen to God and the truth and let them know how much they are hurting me and my family (my oldest daughter is also VERY confused by their cruel actions).
An apology here as well as listening to what the truth is would certainly go a long way.

Similarly another person (Tammy) I helped that also became public (most is not public), also became fodder for the Christian Rumor mill at our old church in West Covina, California, which helped push the issues that caused us to leave for Oregon in the first place. At least with her, she understands the truth, it is only those looking from the outside in that began these nasty rumors with no basis in fact or even my life long character.
A phone call recently from someone I had not spoken too in many years from this church confirms that I am not alone in this type of treatment and an apology here is likely not forth coming. However, I no longer live in that community so these rumors are not as destructive as the current ones.

Justification vs. Sanctification

Justification vs. Sanctification OR Grace vs. Works

This is a subject that in my lay experience seems to cause much confusion and not only among Christians but along those “seeking” and those who have struggled or have been judged by others much in life.

I have seen many non-Christians or struggling Christian (such as myself) turned off by hard line beliefs of many Evangelical Christians that often miss the context of the Bible and many verses and only seem to understand Justification/Grace, but miss Sanctification and the works that pour out from Grace.

On the other side, many Christian and non Christians do not seem to understand the importance of Justification/Grace coming first.

First I will Start with What I feel is a misunderstanding by many Evangelicals and Charismatics:

I will start off with what I feel the Bible as a whole is clear on and that is we all born with a sin nature, have free will, that Jesus is the propitiation for the sins of the ENTIRE world, and that as true believers in heart (not head belief) this will show in our works (which may vary from hidden to easily noticed).
The last one and possible two is where many Evangelicals (at least those I have met or listened to sermons to) seem to fall short

Often many Evangelicals seem to only seem to preach from Paul’s writings/Scripture, and miss how the Book of James lays out the importance of proving Justification via works.
As well, one of my favorite verses from Luke 25 (the story of the Good Samaritan) outlines in absolute clarity in my opinion how justification of Loving the Lord God with all your mind Heart and Soul is followed by the sanctification of “Works”
See my previous post where I quote the parable of the Good Samaritan:
Standing For Truth

I recently heard an excellent Evangelical pastor state that Isaiah 64: 6
(All of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away.) is proof that God thinks little of our works.
HOWEVER in reading many commentaries of this verse, not to mention noting that many non-Christian struggles with this verse in the way many Evangelicals interpret it is clear to me that this view is out of context.
The context is that of God’s people (& possibly non believers as well) who have engaged in sin and have more of a mind belief in God rather than a truly saved Justified acceptance of God’s Grace (through the finished work of Jesus) and think that their works can set them right in God’s eyes, which of coarse they cannot.
(See this page webpage for the whole chapter: Isaiah 64 (New International Version))

Even in one of Paul’s Epistles (Galatians 2 (New International Version)) where is clear that to me how God vies us vs. how man views us I see one missing aspect of this passage in its message. In the passage Paul is condemning Peter for separating himself from the Gentiles.
What is missing from some interpretations IMO is that Peter is being in part criticized for his separation from the Gentiles for reasons of IMAGE, which goes back to the story of the Good Samaritan where many might look the other way for the sake of image.
I can say from my life experience that this has hurt me and my family considerably and this problem continues to this day in our life where image is more important than Sanctification via works, but then why would many not think this way when many have the incorrect view (IMO) of Isaiah 64?

Often judging is from looking externally by others who are very image conscience; however often trials are allowed by God (see the Book of Job however I also believe since we were not created to be “robots”, often it is simply chance as Ecclesiastes 9:11 shows:
Ecclesiastes 9:11 I have seen something else under the sun:
The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
or wealth to the brilliant
or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all.

This is where many in Pentecostal/Charismatic Churches stray in my view and again cause those of us both Christian and non-Christian to struggle

It is also noteworthy that the Book of Job states this: "he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil", which does not mean his works have saved him, but God certainly gives him credit in the same way as Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan

Where many Christians miss the importance of Justification/Grace first over Sanctification:

I heard a message from my own Pastor from Jeremiah 33:14:
'The days are coming,' declares the LORD, 'when I will fulfill the gracious promise I made to the house of Israel and to the house of Judah.

15 " 'In those days and at that time
I will make a righteous Branch sprout from David's line;
he will do what is just and right in the land.

16 In those days Judah will be saved
and Jerusalem will live in safety.
This is the name by which it [c] will be called:
The LORD Our Righteousness.'

He made the point of how we are all stewards of Christ’s and are to provide justice in this world.
However from my reading while I partially agree, I think these verses are more pointing to Christ’s second coming and we will all fall short due to our sin nature, furthermore I feel this view could lead some to believe that our works save us when Justification comes before Sanctification.

Again I will quote Ecclesiastes:
Ecclesiastes 7:20 There is not a righteous man on earth
who does what is right and never sins.

I think it is important to show our love for what God/Jesus has done for us by utilizing our God given talents to help others, I just think it is important to show this should be God centered as a Justified believer first, as well justice does not only come from helping those in need, but by also standing by those being judged or treating in evil ways by authority which I am sad to say I think my own Pastor missed this point (based on actions I have seen him take as to my family that I will not mention here).

I will also add from my reading of these verses in Jeremiah and commentaries about it, as well the bible as a whole is that only Jesus will bring true justice into the world upon his final return, and although believers can certainly do their part in bringing about justice, we has imperfect humans will not always succeed. That does not mean we should not try, but we should seek justice by seeking the Lord first (which is often missed IMO by those taking a more humanistic approach) and as well opening our eyes to the truth about others (which is often missed by those taking a more Evangelical/Baptist approach in my experience).

Views on the Book of James

My Views on the Book of James

First let me start out by stating that although I read the Bible much, listen to varied sermons, etc. I am NOT a biblical expert, so these are simply as the blog title states, “My Thoughts”.

What I do know is that the Book of James is different from the other Epistles and Gospels of the New Testament, and is more akin to Ecclesiastes or Proverbs of the Old Testament.
As well during the Reformation, many such as Marin Luther wanted this book left out of Scripture. Here are Martin Luther’s thoughts:
”"Lutherans believe that faith, is understood as trust in God's steadfast love, and is the only appropriate way for human beings to respond to God's saving initiative. Thus "salvation by faith alone", the distinctive and controversial slogan of Lutheranism. Opponents claimed that this position failed to do justice to the Christian responsibility to do good works, but Lutherans have replied that faith must be active in love and that good works follow from faith as a good tree produces good fruit."

For more please See: http://gbgm-umc.org/umw/james/Background/Canon.htm

With all do respect to Martin Luther, I disagree and I am glad other Church fathers thought this Book was best left in the Cannon of Scripture.

My reasons are simple, that is I firmly believe that the works described in the book of James such as Chapter 2, are a way of verifying our faith and walk. Yes we fail (at least I know I do), just as we fail to keep the Ten Commandments. Christ even states in the Parable of the Good Samaritan that the one who helps the injured man is the Christian; is this not a form of works? The answer in my opinion is this is works by faith, as an unbeliever can also perform this work, however a Christian walking in the faith of the Lord should perform this task as well.

Here is the passage I am referring to (NIV):
1My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. 2Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. 3If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," 4have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

5Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? 6But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? 7Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?

8If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself,"[a] you are doing right. 9But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. 10For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. 11For he who said, "Do not commit adultery,"[b] also said, "Do not murder."[c] If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.

Continued:
14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

I know for myself I have many times tried to live verse 1-3, yet have failed, often paying attention to the man who appears “better”.
This does not mean that we not exercise discernment, as this is also where I have failed. I have leapt in to help someone without prayer, only after realizing the person was a wolf in sheep’s clothing did I finally pray and realize otherwise. I know in particular this has happened twice with disastrous results (such as my trust in a couple to run my previous pet store in the Hacienda Heights area of California when they used me with well designed lies).

As well even when prayer is part of the decision to help someone, I also know from experience the results may not be what we would like, but this does not mean that God does not have bigger plans. A case in point where I helped a female co-worker at a Candy Factory I was the Production Manager with a place to live and many other aspects from insurance to loans. The results for me were disastrous (with many evil rumors and worse), but I know this was done in prayer, and another co-worker who also helped her can vouch for this as well.

Finally there are the many times I have helped others with no reward (& often public acknowledgement), since these acts were done discreetly as Christ often says we should. I know as a human it would be nice for some acknowledgment, especially when the person has the ability to stand up and vouch for your integrity during times of trials (as was the case for another co-worker whom I helped get credit to save their family car) , but I know this is not what Christ is asking of us in James or other related passages of the Bible.

In summary, my thoughts on James is that it is not a book on “works” rather a measurement of our faith, as well as a tool to help us live a life closer to Christ and to understand our own failures. This is similar in my view to Proverbs and Ecclesiastes.
In fact, my biggest frustration is that many in the Christian Church ignore James and concentrate on Paul’s Books, when I think James gives good balance to the rest of the New Testament and our lives, including mine; we simply need to read this book in context with the rest of the Bible.

Gods Answer to a my Prayers

God’s Answer to a my Prayers through a very evil situation
Updated 12/22/09

As I noted briefly in my biography page at my website that in February 2009 our family suffered from a VERY horrible set back that had its roots in what brought us to Oregon in the first place (in fact messages through Google Blogger that were eerily similar to the false charges brought came in Sept. of 2009). I will not go into the details other than to say many persons were down right evil in how they responded to severe issues my family (& daughter in particular) suffered from and acted on blatant lies. See this post for more about one contributor to this evil brought upon my family: My Opinions; DHS, DCS, CPS Abuse of authority

Anyway, the purpose of this post is not to go into the details or the negativesof what happened (of which I will only share with those close to me), rather the positives that this has shown me (this does not mean I am going to forget who did what, as God asks us to forgive, but trust is earned. See this verse as well, Matt. 10:16; "See, I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. So be as cunning as serpents and as innocent as doves").

As I have noted in other posts (& readers can choose to believe this or not, but many around me over the years have confirmed this), I have always been spiritually open to both prophesy/ premonitions from God and as well Satan’s minions giving me very dark dreams and premonitions and visions as well (of which I work hard at ignoring my giving these over to the Lord). This has resulted in many visions that I have seen that have both been awesome in their Godly truth and horrifying in their demonic evil. As a friend I knew back in 2005 observed that I had one such evil premonition when in So. California during a business trip where she accompanied me. This and another dating as back as 1991 both pointed towards what would happen this dark and stormy February night.

Where God/Jesus answer to prayer comes in is that I have been praying for God to release me from bitterness, fear, and more (this bitterness and fear is the result of the cruel and evil incidents throughout my life), as well (& probably more significant), I had been praying for God to show me through others his Love for me and my family as I have felt so very abandoned by others, especially Christian friends that have truly abandoned me. This night in particular, I was returning from LA for my monthly business trip, yet I could not get the feeling out of my head that something was really wrong.
As the day progressed to evening and I entered the mountains north of Redding California, I entered what was arguably the worst winter storm along this part of Interstate 5 in a decade (it took 6 hours to progress on a section that normally takes less than two hours). After passing many accidents (even 4WD vehicles were crashing do to the VERY heavy snow and total white out), I say a vision that is similar to one I had in 1991 on this EXACT section of highway (this same “character has appeared before in other visions), that told me my family was gone!!

Shortly there after two friends called my cell phone to see how I was (one whom felt a compelling need to call me at this time). I did not tell them what I saw as I was trying to not let these types of dark visions over take me. I personally believe God was already at work at this point with these calls.
As I very slowly got closer to home the fear of something wrong grew unbearably difficult to handle, then as I finally was within a block from home I was over taken by fear that something was really wrong and this was realized moments later when I saw my wife’s car gone (& realized my family was missing). I saw visions/"darkness" in the driveway that I cannot speak of other than every failure in my life was immediately brought before me, "it was over", and much worse. I could not even pull much more than ¼ of the way into my driveway as what I saw scared me so much.
I jumped out of my truck & collapsed in panic, based on fears and real facts of what could have happened (my daughter has expressed fears of nightmares as well that she/we would be murdered by the cause of our move to Oregon, as well threatening emails had been sent of late).

This is where God stepped in, via others (not the way I had prayed, but God works in ways best for us, not what we desire). I did not know that my brother in law Cary and my Sister Jan were waiting outside and immediately picked me up and attempted to comfort me. I do know if I could have even made it through this first night if they were not there and had taken me back to their home to care for me.

Later (much within 24 hours) as more came out about what happened, I saw an outpouring of Love and care from my church that I never had experienced before.
Persons came forward from church (even those I never would have guessed or expected to do this, which shows how I should not judge) to comfort me and help remedy what happened to my family. This included a court hearing to remedy the lies and downright evil that was brought upon my family, where the court room was filled with those in my support.
As well may verses were brought to me either by others or directly from God, in particular this verse was brought to me while in meditation and prayer (I have read it many times before, but its application to me was never clear until this point); Philippians 4:4-9; 4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

In summary, there is still much healing to go, as well many who allowed or brought this evil upon my family have yet to come clean, however for me it has brought about a peace from God that he truly is there during mine and my family’s darkest moments. I have been better able to let go of bitterness and realize that there are persons that God works through, and this not only includes the many here in my local proximity, but as well the many internet friends, especially from members of Everything Aquatic such as John L. (& many others, so please forgive my not mentioning all) that sent VERY moving and touching testimonials to help me through this.
Fear still troubles me much, but I have now realized how God/Jesus works in my life, and often not in ways I would prefer, but in ways that makes me grow more as a servant of His and my family. I saw how my kids were deeply hurt, yet my son Timothy and middle daughter Danielle both have expressed how much our family means to them after this incident (Michelle is still struggling deeply as of writing this post, but she was the most harmed by the previous incident back in LA and deeply suffers from fear and abandonment issues, whether real or imagined).
My wife also had an epiphany that made here realize her part in our family and what she had done. I do not know what happened in how God brought this to her, as she is still struggling and feels she will tell me and others (other than her counselor) when she is ready.

Do Evangelicals represent the Church of Jesus?

IS THE EVANGELICAL OR CHARISMATIC WING OF THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH A CULT?

The answer is no, especially when you look at core beliefs, HOWEVER:

although most believe in very literal (& correct in my opinion) interpretations of the Bible, most act in ways that are contrary to scripture and yet have the audacity to condemn Churches such as the Later Day Saints (Mormons) on their interpretation of scripture (which I agree is twisted), but yet most Mormon live the simple teaching of the Bible: (Matt 22: 37-39) 37 Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself".

After speaking with a good friend at my Church (Bethany Presbyterian) as to both of our experiences in many Evangelical Churches and since both of us add somewhat different life experiences that left us both feeling like we "sucked", the light finally came on that part of the problem was almost EVERY Evangelical/Baptist Church I (and my friend) attended had the same message and that is "I SUCK". Besides NOT being Biblical, it simply goes against human nature.

Yes we ALL need a Savior and fall short of God, HOWEVER we ARE created in his image (Genesis 1:27; So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them).
Also what I find both sad and frustrating is that these same Churches like to relate God as our Father, and a Father punishes his children for poor behavior, which I agree, HOWEVER what loving Father tells their children they suck and that they are "bad". Sorry, but I disagree with most Evangelicals that we are inherently bad/evil (we are created in God's image, not Satan's), some may be such as Adolf Hitler whom Jesus death and resurrection is still the propitiation for, but this is one of those mysteries that we in are finite minds likely will never understand (1 John 2:2 He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for[a] the sins of the whole world.)

Back to what the Lord may think of us; Job 1 verse 8: -Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

To balance the above passage, Job later said this: Job 19:25 I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. 26 And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; 27 I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!

Unfortunately many Evangelicals continue to judge me and my family and are often my harshest critics, quite bluntly if even a few of these Evangelicals stood up for was the truth, my family and my daughter would not be in the situation we continue to find ourselves in today. All I heard in most sermons (& this includes radio sermons) is how much I "suck" and what a despicable person I am! I am not saying there is not a place for human judgment, as the Bible is clear you will no them by their fruits, however none have EVER checked to see what was truly happening (the real fruit), and quite honestly the fruit of many of these evangelicals is quite rotten when I look how my family was destroyed and how I CONTINUE to be judged by them (such as for helping a co-worker here in Oregon and ditto in California, does not the Bible say that Christ went out among the sinners!!!!!)

Many would do well to understand this passage from John 1:43-51:
43 The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, "Follow me."
44 Philip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida. 45Philip found Nathanael and told him, "We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph."
46 "Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" Nathanael asked.
"Come and see," said Philip.
47 When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false."
48 "How do you know me?" Nathanael asked.
Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."
49 Then Nathanael declared, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel."
50 Jesus said, "You believe[a] because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You shall see greater things than that." 51He then added, "I tell you[b] the truth, you[c] shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."

To me the above shows how Jesus sees the good in us even when we have issues of our own.

What has been so frustrating, painful, etc. is that these so-called Evangelicals have made pronouncements on me without even knowing what is going on. For instance I had a lady from a Calvary Church of So. CA counseling my wife though her mental issues after my son was born (he was very sickly and later diagnosed with autism), she made up her mind that I was being too hard on my wife, including withholding money from her (she did not try and find out that my wife and her boyfriend had run up $80,000 in debt). She called the LA Sheriff who after looking over the records I showed him told the lady she owed me an apology, she refused. During this same time period my neighbor was VERY judgmental on both me & my wife (yes my wife had, was having an affair that the end result later would be severe emotional harm to my daughter, yet the "Christian" thing to do would be to Love the sinner and hate the sin, but they chose the opposite). Mean while these so-called Christian neighbors told me I was too easy on my wife, totally the opposite of what the Baptist Church and the lady from the Calvary Church stated. This was quite hard being judged from two opposing sides, so I could do no right.

I made a decision to move my family (right or wrong) via prayer and with some input of the few friends (mostly non-Christian) that stood by me (& my sister in Oregon). This of coarse resulting in me trusting others to run my business who it turned out did not have my best intentions in mind (I should have bankrupted, but Chapter 7 would have resulted in lost jobs, so once again I put others ahead of myself, only to get stabbed in the back).

Here in Oregon the judgment has been even worse, and even with my online business where I spend 90% of my time answering other questions, emails, phone calls, fixing their web sites all the while spending little time trying to bring up my business I am still not doing enough in some persons eyes.
I have almost 0% of my back links from others (about 1 in 250) and this shows how much people continue to take advantage of my help.

I am trying to spend more time collecting recyclables, however I get blasted for this too, with a recent incident where a bystander jumped in on his attack of me (see: "Grants Pass Poor Morals; Recycling

I am getting off subject somewhat, but the bottom line is I am thankful for my one Christian friend who shared his similar story of the "you suck" gospel of Evangelicals and as well as my Sister Jan.
However most Evangelicals (some even family) continue to judge me harshly totally oblivious to the harm it has caused me and my family. My daughter is very suicidal and if EVEN ONE Christian would come forward to befriend her would help greatly (she has some friends, but they are not in position to help as they have much on their plate or are not Christians).
For me, just having a few persons here in Grants Pass acknowledge what they have said/done is wrong and try and help could do wonders as well (not to mention having a few persons help me with some REAL links to my business on line)

Unfortunately this quote seems to be all to true: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

My contact with Charismatic Pentecostals has been even worse with most stating this is happening ONLY because I lack faith (ignoring the fact that my move to So. Oregon was an act of faith that I am now paying dearly for). I will save this thought for maybe another day.

What I believe is that the Evangelical Churches in America (maybe elsewhere) need to re-think there personally destructive gospel of “YOU SUCK” and realize that it is not only un-Biblical, BUT DESTRUCTIVE. I know for me is after my 4th & 6th grade teacher told me that I was a vegetable and would not amount to anything (she made sure the WHOLE class knew this as well), I mostly heard how much I sucked in Church as well (until I found a Church that does not preach this). These same persons that preach and live his Gospel mostly like have never been brought to the pits of despair (I know this from their view of suicide and overly literal view of Cor. 10:13).
I know the only point in my life I was truly accepted was when I was a pilot and working on my commercial license, then the criticism I received was as it should be, for my mistakes, HOWEVER I gave this up for my family and now I get and hear criticism everywhere for everything, usually NOT for my mistakes, but based on the “you suck” perceptions.

I will end by saying praise the Lord that I still have a few friends (although mostly non-Christian such as at Everything Aquatic), as well my friend Roger here in town, Bob in Central CA. and others.

I will also add that I think this is why God grants us this time on Earth is to serve others, however many think ALL service should be beat them on the head Evangelism or things done in public view (95% of my service has been done discretely in private).
I would refer to this article as well: Conservatism vs. Capitalism

My prayer is for others who have turned from God (such as my father and others I know) because just these views of the Evangelical Church will realize that they do NOT represent Jesus’ Love!

Why even pray anymore

Why even pray anymore?

After finding out that I will need a surgery for which my family cannot afford,

after finding out more rumors about me in my community that have no basis of fact, all the while continuing to spend 80% of my time helping others either online or often
quietly as in the case of a friend of my daughters yet getting nothing but criticism,

after a person via myspace basically rubbed my nose in his aquatic business success with his new home and $1000s of dollar aquarium of which not one penny went my way

after a week of nightmares of all my failures,

after giving up my dream of becoming an airline pilot so as to spend more time to care of my family (which I already spent much time) after spending $35,000 and progressing all the way to my Multi-Engine License

after knowing that God made me look the way I do, a skinny little man that most see as either gay or a pervert based on this (I know this to be true based on many comments that found their way back to me and even a couple of letters of my wife to the person that took advantage of her after my son’s birth),

after knowing that I have always treated women/girls with respect, even in high school when the only girl truly interested in my was because I showed her kindness while she was being mercilessly teased, I refused to use this as an opportunity to take advantage of her even though others said I should, YET I am looked at as someone that helps women only to get "into their pants"

after opening my home and wallet to many in need (most often quietly in secret), only to be ridiculed as to my intention or igoring my family (neither of which is remotely true)

after even being ridiculed for picking up cans in off hours by local businessman in my community (and writing a letter to the editor of my local paper to only see it go unpublished)

after praying fervently for those that I helped but later turned on me based on rumors and I have tried to get them to know what really happened but they seem uninterested in knowing the truth,

after a possible investor in my business that thought I had a great website, but then could not believe the low revenue stated that they thought we were much larger based on what they saw and could not find an explanation for this (mind you this was a large corporation that specializes in finding up and coming businesses),

after a click through rate on my web site adverts of 10% below national average

after knowing the day I am not going to pay back all the $100s I have borrowed just to stay in our crap hole of a house that is a fire trap and uses $400 per month just to heat in the winter for 900 square feet

after knowing this is the tearful week that I had to place my daughter on a plane to get her away from a person and situation that meant her and my family harm and took $80,000 from us that we did not even have (it was credit)

after also knowing that next month is when we had to leave our home and live in a Camper for 18 months for which most around us label me a failure,

after leaving LA, not one friend bothered to call or see us off

after knowing what my teacher for both the 4th and 6th grade said about me,

after mine and many others that feel following God’s Word and honesty prayers seemed to go unheard on election day,

WHERE IS GOD, and maybe I am the failure everyone thinks I am

Thanks to Everything Aquatic

Thanks to my many good friends at Everything Aquatic!

It is nice to know that there are people in the world that will stand up for what is right, and even when I am easily frustrated by all the events of life (form an upside down mortgage, to the $30,000 in money owed still left to pay from the influence of the Judas in my family’s, to my daughters depression and both our treatment by so-called “friends” in this community)

After feeling I need to leave Everything Aquatic for a while to relieve pressure on my life, I found out quite quickly starting with John L. how much others care in this group (& I was rude to him to boot on the phone!). Brenda also joined him with several emails and others from Jon to Bill, just to name a few really were great.

I only wish as I go into a season that is filled with extremely painful nightmares that my daughter also suffers from that others that have spread lies and rumors about me or have made me feel like one inch tall such as Carys of Oregon, the Owens and so MANY others in Grants Pass and down at Bethany Baptist Church could do the same.
Again, the sad part is that in my daughters case, most of the people that make her feel worthless in life are Christians, yet she as I do remains strong in faith of God, which is often hard when the Bible says you will know my people by their fruits!!!!


Maybe Rachel and Josh Oliveri, the Investors at Carys of Oregon, the Owens, Greg Walden, the many that attend River Valley Church, Parkside Church and Bethany Baptist Church should go to the Everything Aquatic Forum and read some there, as they certainly do not seem to read their Bibles.

I will state to any readers of "My Thoughts" (as most of my posts are of a negative nature as that is how I have been left feeling by so many starting in the 4th grade) that despite my abandonment and harsh and rumor based treatment by most Evangelical Christians my faith in God and the Lord Jesus is still in tact (I admit doubts at time). I only wish that so many Evangelical Christian could just even remotely practice what the Bible teaches such as the parable of the Good Samaritan.
For me the evidence for creation is what first allowed me to see past the way so many others treated me and as someone who has always been fascinated science with an aptitude as well in science that the Earth and Universe "screams" that there must be a Creator and my looking at the scientific and mathematical evidence has brought me back to the Lord when doubts have over come do to the horrible ways many Evangelical Christians have treated me and my family (as well as some of my friends such as John).

The Bible is clear to this as well:
Romans 1:20 states: "For the invisible things of him from the creation are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead: so that they are without excuse."

I will also add that many persons of the Mormon faith of Christianity that are often maligned by Evangelical Christians as a cult (I will agree that scripturally the Church of Jesus Christ Later Day Saints has many problems, HOWEVER this is also the Church that I have seen act in true Christian Love. Personally I would be more drawn to a Christian that acts as Jesus would than one who talks and tells others what is wrong with myself. Another point is that the Judas that destroyed my family hates Mormons with a passion and this is more proof to me that although this Church has doctrinal issues, if someone of his character hates this Church they must be doing something right!