"My Thoughts"

Monday, August 20, 2007

What does God want?

I do not know what people and God want.

After returning from a beautiful camping trip that was marred by multiple breakdowns (which I had premonitions of that stated there was much worse to come), I have come back to constant attacks on line, breakdowns of equipment, lost internet service, abandonment of friends and more.

Even with the breakdown of our Ford vehicle (which has happened in every trip for the last four summers), I have replaced parts over and over (I am on the third data processor and exhaust system in a vehicle with only 85,000 miles on it) I came under attack in a Good Sam forum where I have asked questions.
Basically the replies were how dare I question Ford??

Back to my internet business, I am treated like a ghost in most forums (there are a few exceptions such as the fishroom and a few other internet friends).
For instance I will answer a question and someone will come along and also provide the same answers and the others will thank the second person for the great answer, ignoring my earlier answer often in subjects I have years of experience in such as the aquarium nitrogen cycle, aquarium lighting and more.
A few of these aquarium care articles/websites:
* http://www.americanaquariumproducts.com/Nitrogen_Cycle.html

I got attacked for one of my demonstration videos, not for the amateur quality of the video (which would be true), but for the method which is not true.
I get little of the respect here in this town or especially on the internet that I got with my previous business of over two decades. Yahoo Answers and many of the Google groups often treat me worse than crap.

I know I get "over sensitive" however this is hard to overcome based on the lifelong attacks I have had starting in the 4th grade and continuing at a Candy Factory here in Oregon that I worked at when I first moved here (that place made me feel 1 inch tall!!!)
See this post: Does doing the right thing really pay in life?

A local friend has appeared to be going the way of another in helping me. A comment and other incidents lead me to believe her husband is listening to the lies about me.
As to me possibly reading to much into this or other similar incidents, my first impressions, gut instincts, whatever else you would call it, have been 90% right over my life, what I have done with this information is where I have failed (I tend to be a chump).

What is hardest is others say I should forget about this, but this is hard when things keep piling on (including nightmares and premonitions that allow me no sleep). It would be nice if some of the persons would have wronged me and spread rumors (mostly Evangelical Christians too), would apologize, but what are the odds?
All these incidents are also feeding into premonitions pointing to worse this Autumn, just like in the Fall of 2002 which forced me to move my family (with my daughter placed on a plane ahead of the rest of our family to protect her).
The bottom line, I am at a loss of what God and others want from me, I am trying to do my best with honesty and integrity (yes I make mistakes, I am human), what does God want?
See my Bio: Carl Strohmeyer Biography

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