Friends

I am very confused. I have always thought that friends were to support you in your troubles and your mistakes. Praising your strengths, helping you through your weaknesses and failures.
I have had many failures, some my fault, many not. However I have helped others, taken many into my home, fed them, co-signed on loans, helped find jobs, taken their kids camping, loaned and given money, treated everyone as equal; yet this has not been enough.

Today, true to my premonitions, two things happened; I got another email from someone I should not have, and worse (at least from my perspective) a couple I helped and treated like my own children (I mentioned her in an earlier post) got married and never sent an invitation.
I think I was the only one not invited which brought truth to every premonition I have had in the last two weeks. The premonitions yet to be fulfilled worry me as well, but for now the pain of this is more than I think I can bear, but I will for my kids.

I am so tired of the hate that has been directed at me all my life from the teacher in the fourth and sixth grade (same teacher)with a brief respite in the early 1980s when things really "clicked", to the present time (especially from people in this community and previous Church in LA whom I have given freely of my time and money to help).

I pray that Jesus will show me love, as the world is so dark with so many hateful persons who act like Christians, but in reality are full of evil.